


I Won’t Disappear Anymore

by rox_fanfics



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, History Nerd Bucky Barnes, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Imaginary Friends, Imagination, M/M, Nerd Bucky Barnes, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve, Read by the Author, Romantic Fluff, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Will Fight You, The Author Regrets Nothing, i'm so proud of this please validate me, no cap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rox_fanfics/pseuds/rox_fanfics
Summary: The boy looked up at him, his blonde hair looking almost golden in the sunlight, “I’m Steve,” he said, sucking out his hand.“Bucky,” he responded, grinning as he shook Steve’s hand.In his dreams, he always talked to Steve like he was any other person, but no one else could see him. It felt like it was him and Steve against the world when he was dreaming, and his friends and family members started to give him sympathetic looks whenever he would show up at the breakfast table with another story about Steve.~Bucky is Steve's imaginary friend and Steve is Bucky's friend who he only sees in his dreams. It's them against the world.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 15
Kudos: 211





	I Won’t Disappear Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I worked so hard on this and I really hope you guys like it because I am very proud of it :)

Bucky Barnes had been dealing with strange dreams since he was old enough to know what dreams were. He never thought that his dreams were strange, but anyone who cared enough to listen always gave him a weird look. 

The thing about Bucky’s dreams was that they always revolved around one person. 

The first time he had met Steve in his dreams was when he was nearly nine, not knowing that he was dreaming. He could think back on it now and he recognised that he was in Brooklyn, but an older Brooklyn that he had never known outside of his dreams. 

A blonde boy was kicking someone much bigger than him, someone who would most likely leave the smaller kid with a few bruises and a broken nose, but he didn’t run away from the fight. 

“What are you doing!” Bucky yelled, running up to the boy who he didn’t know who was now lying on the ground of the alley, an angry expression on his face. 

“He was hitting a cat!” The kid said, getting strange looks from the woman walking past the alley as he faced Bucky and got up, dusting off his pants. 

Bucky sighed, “But you’re small! You could get hurt! My ma’ says that you should know when to fight and when to get help,”

The boy glared at Bucky, “I don’t need your help,”

“Sure,” Bucky narrowed his eyes at the boy, looking specifically at the bruises that would surely be there tomorrow. 

The boy didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t move from the spot, sitting down on the dirty ground, his boney limbs sticking out awkwardly. 

“I hate being small,” he said, glaring at the ground as Bucky walked over and sat beside him, not touching him. 

“Being small isn’t all that bad,” he said, thinking of his little sister. She was shorter than Bucky, but that meant that she was the perfect height for kicking his shins, “You could sneak up on people because they won’t be looking for someone small, like a super spy!”

Bucky tried to think of the boy sneaking around corners or using super-secret tech to climb on walls and ceilings. 

The boy looked up at him, his blonde hair looking almost golden in the sunlight, “I’m Steve,” he said, sucking out his hand. 

“Bucky,” he responded, grinning as he shook Steve’s hand. 

In his dreams, he always talked to Steve like he was any other person, but no one else could see him. It felt like it was him and Steve against the world when he was dreaming, and his friends and family members started to give him sympathetic looks whenever he would show up at the breakfast table with another story about Steve. 

“James,” His mother said as she took him to a tall office building one day, holding his hand tightly, “We’re going to meet a man today, his name is Dr Smith, and I want you to tell him everything about Steve,”

Bucky lit up at the thought of talking about Steve, who had become his best friend even though he only saw him in dreams, “Ok!” He said excitedly. 

~

Dr Smith wasn’t a nice man. Whenever Bucky told him about Steve as his mother had said to, he tried to convince Bucky that Steve wasn’t real, that Bucky was making him up. 

Bucky got angry, screaming at him. Dr Smith stayed calm, but Bucky was still angry. He never let anyone talk bad about Steve, no matter who they were because Steve was his best friend. 

He told Dr Smith about Steve and how much he liked talking to Steve, but Dr Smith kept telling him that he was imagining all of it. 

“I’m not!” Bucky yelled after Dr Smith had repeated himself for the third time. 

He gave Bucky a sympathetic smile that Bucky hated, “You are, James. Steve isn’t real, so how could he be your best friend?”

“He is!” Bucky yelled, his eyes filling with tears, “He’s my best friend and I love him more than anyone else!” 

When Dr Smith gave him another disappointed look, Bucky got up from the chair he was in and used his tiny sharp nails to try and scratch Dr Smith’s face. 

Needless to say, his mother didn’t take him back to Dr Smith after that. 

“Why did you do that, James?” His mother hisses as she marched them back home, her hand like a vice on Bucky’s wrist. 

Bucky felt his eyes tear up again, “He said that I was making Steve up and that Steve wasn’t real, but he is! Steve is real, and he’s smart, and he has blue eyes, and blonde hair, and he likes to stand up to bullies!”

His mother let out a tired sigh, closing her eyes and rubbing her temple with the hand she wasn’t using to hold Bucky. 

“James, dreams aren’t real. I know that you want Steve to be real, and I know that you think he is, but when you’re dreaming, it’s all in your mind-”

“No! He’s real!” Bucky screamed, trying to yank his hand out of his mother’s grip and kicking at her shins, “He’s real and I would rather live with him forever instead of you!”

His mother gave up trying to get Bucky to talk to any more doctors. 

~

“Bucky!” Steve’s voice had gotten deeper over the years, both of them in their early teens now, “My ma’ saved up enough to get a cake for my birthday this year! I know that you can’t really have any, but we can watch the fireworks together!”

Steve’s face was like sunlight, making Bucky feel warm all over as he looked at his best friend. Whenever he saw Steve in his dreams, only Steve could see him. Steve had tried to introduce Bucky to his ma’, but she had stared at him unblinkingly, asking Steve is he was playing a joke. 

Bucky had told Steve that their interactions were all dreams to him, and he constantly asked Steve to reaffirm that he was real, that Bucky wasn’t going crazy like so many people thought. 

“I’m as real as you are, pal,” Steve would always reply, a mischievous smirk on his face. 

There wasn’t a lot that happened in Bucky’s dreams, but he didn’t care. Most of the time he would tell Steve about his day, sit next to him in school and try to get Steve to laugh while the rest of the class looked at Steve like he was crazy. 

Steve got in trouble for laughing randomly in class sometimes, but he always assured Bucky that he couldn’t care less, as long as he got to spend time with him. 

According to Steve, it was 1932, which hadn’t been too shocking to Bucky as he looked around and saw a distinct lack of screens and bright lights. He never told Steve that it was 2000 in his waking life, but he had a feeling that Steve knew he wasn’t from the time period. 

“Why do _all_ the women wear dresses and skirts?” Bucky had asked one day, getting a slightly confused expression from Steve who was doodling on his homework. 

“It’s just… what they wear,” he said lamely, now looking puzzled, like he couldn’t think of any other answers to Bucky’s question. 

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “That’s kind of misogynistic,” he said, using a word that he had heard a girl at school use when she talked about a teacher telling her to cover her shoulders.

Steve put down his pencil, “What’s that?”

“It means that it’s not fair. Women can do anything men can do, and they can usually do it better in a lot of cases. Saying that women are only good to be wives or can only wear dresses or skirts is extremely disrespectful,” Bucky liked to use big words, but he also liked to know what they meant. 

His younger sister, Becca, used to be picked on because she didn’t like dresses and she had short hair, so Bucky had made sure to do as much research on women’s rights and misogyny as he could that night. Bucky wasn’t a big guy and he liked to use his brain to solve his problems.

Steve sat there and considered Bucky’s words, his face unreadable. 

“Please don’t tell me that you disagree because I really don’t want to punch you,”

The tension in the room broke immediately, Steve laughing as Bucky sat up from his bed, now eye level with Steve. 

“No, I agree with you, I’ve just never heard it put like that before,” Steve assured him, smiling a little and going back to his homework, a small doodle of a bird in the top corner. 

Bucky stayed silent as he watched Steve work, seeing how his brows furrowed and how Steve’s hands came up to brush his hair away without thinking about it. 

Bucky was fourteen now, he knew what being gay was, and he knew that it used to not be ok. He had never thought about boys as more than friends before, but whenever he saw Steve’s sunshine golden hair and sky blue eyes, he felt the overwhelming urge to run his fingers through the golden strands. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Steve asked, breaking the spell and Bucky was plunged back into reality. He was sitting with his best friend who had probably never heard of same-sex couples, and would most likely scream at Bucky if he said what he was thinking.

“No,” Bucky said, shaking his head to dismiss the thoughts in his mind, “Unless you mean ugliness, because that’s all over-”

Steve tackled Bucky to the bed as he laughed. 

~

Steve Rogers. 

That was the name of the man in Bucky’s history textbook. 

Steven Grant Rogers. 

They had a picture of him in an extremely patriotic uniform, the text underneath it detailing that the photo was taken after Steven Rogers, better known as Captain America, had rescued a group of three hundred men from behind enemy lines. 

Bucky nearly passed out when he turned the page. 

There were two pictures, one of the All American Beefcake from the previous page, and an entirely different one of a smaller man. Of Steve. 

_Captain Rogers was not always the man that America knows and loves. He was born small and sickly, originally denied enlistment due to poor health, but Rogers persevered. Selected for project rebirth by Dr Abraham Erskine, Rogers was to be the first super-soldier, and would play an instrumental part in the war._

Bucky’s breathing was faster now as he read on, not caring what his teacher was saying and willing his brain to comprehend the words faster. 

_The Captain’s main job was to take down a Nazi organization called HYDRA, known for its inhuman experiments on Allied POWs. Rogers’ own crew, The Howling Commandos, met him when he was rescuing them from a HYDRA base. Unfortunately, Captain Rogers’ work would come to a halt sooner than anyone would have liked. To stop a HYDRA plane from dropping its bomb on the USA, Rogers steered it into the Atlantic, now his final resting place. Captain Rogers is credited as one of the best strategic minds of the century, closely behind his close friend and rumoured love interest, Margret (Peggy) Carter-_

There was a sour taste in Bucky’s mouth as he read that part over and over again. 

“James, would you give us the answer?” His teacher said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts and making him look up in alarm. 

“I didn’t hear the question,” he muttered, hearing the teacher sigh in disappointment before asking another student. 

Bucky went back to staring at the photo of Steve, the kid who he saw in his dreams and who he considered his best friend. 

Steve Rogers had died more than half a century ago, and Bucky would never get to meet him while he was awake, or introduce him to his family. 

He spent the rest of the day learning as much about Captain America as he could, checking out every book from the library and then doing more research on the computer until the librarian kicked him out. 

“What brought this up?” His mother asked as Bucky came home with a tower of books almost reaching his head. 

Bucky considered telling her the truth, but he knew that would only get him an eye roll and a suggestion to see another doctor. 

“School project, I need to get an A,”

~

Most of the books, Bucky found to his displeasure, only talked about Steve after he had gotten the serum, completely skipping his childhood and what he was like as a person. 

A book that he hadn’t opened yet caught his eye, making him reach over to grab it. 

‘Just A Kid From Brooklyn’ it read, a silhouette of the New York City skyline on the cover. 

_Before he became Captain America, Steve Rogers was known on his street as a trouble maker. “He couldn’t stay away from a fight if he tried,” Ruth Williams, a neighbour of Rogers’ said when I asked about him, “Steve was a funny boy, he would insist that he had a friend named Bucky who he played with most days, but I always thought that it was just his imagination. He was an artist, loved to draw, and his mind could create whole new worlds. He didn’t have many friends, and I think that ‘Bucky’ might have been his way of keeping himself entertained. I will say, though, that if Bucky was a real person, I would thank him. Whenever Bucky was around, Steve didn’t get into nearly as many fights, and I don’t think my heart could have kept up with Steve if he didn’t have something else to occupy himself with,”_

Bucky felt his heart stop, the whole world freezing around him as he stared at the page in front of him. 

“James, dinner,” his mother said, knocking on the door lightly. 

“It’s real,” Bucky breathed, staring at the page and fixating on what the woman had said, “It’s not my imagination, I’m not crazy, it’s _real_!” he felt like cheering, like jumping up and down and screaming at the top of his lungs. 

His mother gave him a concerned look, “What’s real, James?”

“Steve,” Bucky said, picking up the book and feeling his face break into a smile, “He’s a real person, I’m not crazy,” Bucky looked at his mother and saw her sympathetic eyes, but he refused to acknowledge them. 

“Look, mom, look at this,” he pointed at the page, “Steve told me a few years ago that he was living in 1932, and his last name is Rogers, I saw a picture of him before the serum and he looked exactly like my Steve, just a little older, and see this!”

Bucky pointed as the words, shoving the book in his mom’s face. 

“‘ _Steve was a funny boy, he would insist that he had a friend named Bucky who he played with most days, but I always thought that it was just his imagination_ ’- he’s the only one who can see me whenever we talk, no one else around him can see me and this explains everything! I’ve been having dreams of Steve Rogers since I was nine and he’s been seeing me as his ‘imaginary’ friend since the 1930s!”

His mom, instead of looking sceptical, looked angry, “James, I can’t believe this. Did you change the words in this book to fit your fantasy? You’re too old to have a ‘dream friend’, and to suggest that your ‘friend’ is Captain America-”

“Not Captain America,” Bucky cut her off, glaring at her, “My best friend is Steve Rogers, a stupid punk who’s too dumb to run from a fight, and he’s the best person I’ve ever known, how long will it take for you to believe me?”

Bucky felt his good mood disappearing as his mother’s face remained the frustrated mask he had gotten used to. She wore it whenever he talked about Steve, whenever he acted like Steve was a real person. 

_But he is!_

“I think that the stress of school is getting to you,” his mother said after a moment, making Bucky twist to look at her so fast his neck hurt. 

“What?”

“You work too hard, you’re a star student, but everyone needs breaks. Why don’t you stay home tomorrow, try to get ‘Steve’ out of your mind before you go back to school-”

“You think I’m going insane,” Bucky let out a harsh laugh, falling back on his bed, “You don’t believe me and you think that I’m… what? Making it up? Doing this for attention?” Bucky glared at his mother who looked at the floor, her bare feet on the carpet of Bucky’s bedroom. 

She took a breath, “I know that you think that ‘Steve’ is real, but you’re a smart kid, think about it logically, how in the world would you, a child in 2000, communicate with Steve Rogers, a war hero who died more than half a century ago?”

Bucky had to admit, it would be hard to believe, but he still didn’t get it. 

“Mom, I’ve been having these dreams for years, almost five years, before I even knew what Steve looked like before the serum and before I made the connection with Captain America. How could my brain come up with a perfect image of Steve before the serum without ever having seen a photo of him before?”

His mother sighed, “I don’t know, James,” she admitted, her shoulders sagging, “I just know that what you’re describing is impossible,”

~

In 2010, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was one of the world’s top experts when it came to the American Involvement in World War Two. He still got the dreams, and whenever he went to sleep, he prayed to whatever higher being was out there that he would have another dream of Steve that night. 

After getting his PhD in history, Bucky still felt like he didn’t know enough about Steve. In his dreams, Steve was 24, and he would end up in the ice at age 27. Bucky had refused to tell Steve anything about the future, not that Steve asked a lot. He would jokingly ask Bucky if he was a famous artist in the future whenever Bucky complimented his art, and it hurt Bucky that he couldn’t just say ‘yes’. 

He knew that Steve would want to fight, his whole spirit radiated a need to get out and do something, but Bucky couldn’t bear the thought of Steve off at war, scared and hurt only for his life to end when he was alone and cold. 

“Stop looking so sad, this is amazing!” Steve said as he dragged Bucky through a crowd at what he called ‘The Stark Expo’. Bucky knew about Howard Stark (obviously, he played a big part in the Manhattan project and a lot of other things in WW2) but he couldn’t help but see Tony Stark as he looked up at the man. 

Tony Stark was known as a genius, creating a flying suit two years ago that he now used to fight crime and show off his money. 

“What if I told you that, in the future, your vehicle won’t have to touch the ground at all,” Howard’s voice carried across the crowd, a murmur of excitement spread through the crowd as the girls on stage took away the wheels.

“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, that car is going to crash in less than minute” Bucky whispered to Steve who tried hard to stifle his laughter. 

Just as Bucky predicted, the car came crashing back down to earth, making Howard mutter “I said the future, didn’t I?” Before moving the show along quickly. 

“I know that I don’t say a lot about the future, but I will tell you that flying cars are not a thing,” Bucky said, laughing at the pout on Steve’s face. 

“But that looks so cool!” He said, dragging Bucky over to a food stand to get popcorn, the vendor giving him a strange look when Steve continued to talk to Bucky, “If flying cars aren’t part of the future then I’m not sure I want to see it,”

It was a joke, obviously, but Bucky felt like he had been punched in the gut at Steve’s words. 

He would never see that future, and Bucky would just have to make his last few years the best he possibly could. 

~

“I’m fine!” Steve protested, pushing Bucky away, to which Bucky let out a harsh laugh. 

“Fine? Steve, you jumped on a grenade, I don’t care if it’s a dummy, you still did it. Do you have any idea how stupid you are? You would have died if it had been real, and how do you think I would feel about that?” Bucky was breathing hard now, his face an inch away from Steve’s. 

Instead of fighting, Steve’s shoulders sagged slightly, “I’m sorry,” he muttered, “I just- If someone had to die, it should be me, I’m not anyone special-”

“Bullshit, Rogers,” Bucky growled, grabbing Steve’s shoulders, “You are more special than you will ever know, and you’re so important. Fuck, if I lost you now I don’t think I could survive it-”

“What?” Steve sounded shocked, finally looking at Bucky. 

Bucky let out a deep sigh, “I know that this is a really bad thing in this time, and I know that you’re probably going to hate me now, but I have to do this before you go and jump on a real grenade,”

He pressed his lips to Steve’s mouth, lighter than a feather. 

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Steve said, his face split in a grin. Before Bucky knew what was happening, Steve was kissing him again, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck and pulling him closer, his tongue flicking out to ask for permission to enter.

Bucky opened up for him, kissing Steve like he was a starving man offered a delicious feast. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years,” Bucky whispered, pulling back just enough to look into Steve’s eyes, drowning in the blue irises he loved so much. 

“Please, don’t do anything like that again,” Bucky whispered, a single tear escaping his eye as his held Steve tighter than ever before, soaking in the man before him. 

Steve melted into his touch, “I can’t promise something I won’t be able to keep, but I will promise to try my best to get back to you, no matter what,”

~

Watching Steve get the serum was terrifying, even if Bucky knew the outcome. 

“I’m right here,” Bucky said as Steve got into the machine, his body looking so small surrounded by the giant machines. 

Steve didn’t say anything, but he kept his eyes on Bucky until he was fully in the machine, no longer visible. 

Dr Erskine, a man that Bucky had researched a _lot_ for his doctorate, was giving the call to go ahead. Bucky almost wanted to scream at them, say that Steve will die in a few years if they do this, but no one would hear him, and he knew that Steve wanted this.

The light was blinding, almost too much for Bucky too look at, the machines started sparking and a woman was yelling at them to shut it down. 

“No! I can do this!” Steve yelled from inside the machine, making Bucky’s heartache as he heard the pain in his voice. 

“Hold on for me!” Bucky yelled hoping against hope that Steve could hear him, “Please, make it through this!”

~

Bucky taught a few courses at a university about Captain America and the Howling Commandos. Whenever older students got asked by younger ones what type of teacher Professor Barnes was, they always had a similar answer. 

“He’s super cool, but if you’re going to take his class, make sure you read this book called ‘Just A Kid From Brooklyn’. Most people don’t read books about Steve Rogers’ life before the war, but Professor Barnes always talks to his class about Rogers’ life before the war, no matter how many students fall asleep in his class because of it,”

~

“Wait, you teach a class about me?” Steve asked one night after a USO tour, his head in Bucky’s lap as they sat in his private dressing room. 

Bucky blushed, “Yes. Ever since I made the connection about you and ‘Captain America’ I started doing research, clearing up any false information I could and trying my best to conserve your life in a way you would have wanted,”

Steve smiled at him, his eyes bright and relaxed whenever it was just him and Bucky. 

“You better tell your students to call me by my name, or I will find a way to show up to one of your lectures and tell all of them that you like to be called Baby-Doll when you’re upset-”

Steve laughed as Bucky shoved him off the couch. 

~

“Excuse me, Dr Barnes, do you mind if I speak to you for a second?” Bucky looked up from where he was packing his bag, just having finished a lecture. 

A pale man stood in front of him, he was probably older than him (which wasn’t uncommon when you were one of the youngest professors on the campus) and his hair was balding at the top of his head. 

“Sure, walk with me?” Bucky suggested, having to walk across campus to get to his next lecture.

The man nodded, falling into stride with Bucky, “I watched your class today, Dr Barnes, and I must say that I’ve never seen anyone more knowledgeable about Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos,” the man gave him a mall smile, which Bucky returned with a small ‘thank you’. 

“I’m afraid that I’m not here on pleasure, however,” the man said, looking genuinely sorry, “I came to you because I knew that you were the only person who might know how to deal with this,”

~

“Stevie!” Bucky yelled at the complete idiot in front of him, sitting in a plane and talking to Peggy Carter on the radio, “Stevie, please, what are you doing!”

“I have to put her in the water,” Steve said. 

Bucky felt the dread pool in his stomach.

This wasn’t supposed to happen yet, Steve still had so much life to live, and how would Bucky survive without him?

“Please,” Bucky begged, crouching in front of him and holding his face in his hands, “Stevie, please don’t do this-”

“I love you,” Steve yelled over the noise of the plane, “I’m sorry we couldn’t have more time, but I want you to be happy, Buck,” Steve reached out with his hand, cupping Bucky’s face with such gentleness, “Find someone who makes you happy, don’t linger on me,”

“You’re an idiot!” Bucky yelled, moving closer and clinging to Steve like his life depended on it, “Please, Stevie, we’ll figure something out!”

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered, his lips touching Bucky’s before everything was suddenly cold. 

Then Bucky woke up. 

~

The next day, Bucky’s eyes were red and puffy, which no one dared point out when they saw how completely shattered he looked. 

“Dr Barnes,” The man from yesterday was back, and Bucky tried to smile, but it felt so wrong to feel any joy without Steve. 

“Hello, Agent Coulson, how may I help you?” 

“We found something concerning Captain Rogers. I was going to tell you yesterday, but I wanted to be sure that you were the right man for the job,” Bucky tried not to wince as Coulson said Steve’s name, he was a professional, and he needed to act like it. 

“Of course, is this a show or a tell situation?”

Coulson gave him a small smile, “It’s a show, and I think that you’ll be very happy when you see it,”

Bucky wanted to say that nothing could make him happy anymore, that the world could stop spinning and he wouldn’t care, but he just nodded, gesturing for Coulson to led the way. 

The Agent lead him to an unmarked vehicle, but Bucky assumed that this was government-related, so he didn’t question it. They drove for a while in comfortable silence, Bucky scrolling through the news on his phone and trying to d anything to distract himself from Steve. 

Agent Coulson leads him into a glass office building, one that Bucky had probably seen but never noticed before, and they got into an elevator. Coulson had to tap his card and insert a passcode to get the elevator to work before he pressed the button labelled ‘Intensive Medical’. 

Bucky was a little confused at that. If they wanted to show him something, he assumed it would be an artefact, something he would authenticate as a former possession of Steve’s before it got sent to the Smithsonian. Why would he be going to Intensive Medical?

Coulson seemed oblivious to his confusion, however, as he stood still in the lift, looking calm and composed as always. 

When the lift opened, Coulson leads Bucky through a series of winding hallways, passing lots of people in black suits as well as medical staff running around from door to door, some talking with coworkers, others hurriedly writing on clipboards. 

“This is the expert?” A black man with an eyepatch said, looking over Bucky sceptically. 

“Yes, sir. Dr Barnes is one of the world’s leading experts on Captain Rogers and the Howling Commandos, and I can assure you that he knows more about him that both of us put together,” Bucky gave Coulson a weak smile at that, but he still felt numb. 

“What do you need to show me here?” Bucky asked, looking at the man. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Not a what, but a who,”

The man opened the door and Bucky dropped his bag, his knees almost giving out as he saw Steve there in a block of ice, his hand still raised like it had been when he had caressed Bucky’s face and kissed him in his last dream. 

“Dr Barnes, are you alright?” Coulson asked, sounding a little concerned, “I understand that this is a huge discovery but your reaction is quite unusual,”

“Is he alive?” Bucky asked, breathless as he walked into the room, leaving his bag on the floor where he had dropped it. 

The man with the eyepatch shrugged, “It seems so, one of our agents detected a heartbeat, though it’s faint and slow,”

Bucky grabbed the chair next to the table Steve was laying on, sitting down and not daring to take his eyes off of Steve. 

“Dr Barnes, could you tell us how we should approach this situation? When he wakes up we were considering making it look like it was still the 1940s, we want to break the news to him slowly-”

“Steve Rogers has one of the best strategic minds of the century, he’ll immediately spot anything out of place. I would suggest moving him somewhere quiet when he’s out fo the ice, but don’t lie to him, he doesn’t like liars,” Bucky thought back to the time he had lied to Steve about his mom. 

He had said that his mother was excited to meet Steve, or something of the sort, and Steve had spotted the lie instantly, giving Bucky a very long lecture about the importance of telling people you love the truth, even when it might hurt. 

God, Stevie had perfected the disappointed face. 

“I’ll stay with him, and be here when he wakes up,” Bucky says, glaring at the man with the eyepatch as he opens his mouth to argue, “I’ve studied him for years, if anyone knows how to help him and how to explain everything to him, it’s me,”

~

Bucky didn’t leave Steve’s side unless he needed to eat or use the bathroom. He didn’t call his family, he didn’t want to hear his mother at the moment. He knew that if he couldn’t send her some physical proof, she would be convinced that he was going insane, and probably send someone to put him in a mental asylum. 

“No one’s taking me away from you,” Bucky said as he rested his hand on Steve’s tears coming to his eyes as he felt the warmth there that he wasn’t sure he would ever feel again. 

The heart monitor next to the bed beeped regularly, calming Bucky’s own pulse until he could fall asleep. Without meaning to, he felt his headrest on Steve’s shoulder, sleeping peacefully without any dreams for the first time in years. 

~

Bucky woke up to the feeling of someone resting their hand on his head. Feeling far too comfortable to move, Bucky snuggled closer to the warm pillow he was resting on. 

The pillow, it seemed, had a conscience, as it let out a small chuckle, making Bucky look up and the whole day came rushing back to him. 

“Steve!” He screamed when he saw the blue eyes he had grown to love more than life itself. Bucky launched himself at the man, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and holding him tighter than he ever had in his life. 

“Please tell me I didn’t kill you too when I put the plane down,” Steve said, his voice filled with panic now as he pulled back, “Bucky, please tell me-”

“You’re not dead,” Bucky said, his eyes filling with tears, “You’re alive, and I’m not dreaming right now,”

Steve’s eyes went wide, “You mean that you’re here? You’re really here and everyone else can see you?”

Bucky nodded, his face splitting into a smile so wide his cheeks hurt, “I can introduce you to my family, and we can take walks in the park and we can go on dates like regular couples,”

Before either of them could say anything else, the door opened revealing Fury and Coulson, the latter with a calm and open expression on his face. 

“Captain,” Fury acknowledged, nodding at him, “Has Dr Barnes informed you of the situation?”

“Situation?” Steve asked, looking at Bucky, “And when did you become a doctor?”

Bucky blushed a little, “About two years before you joined the army, in your time I guess,” Bucky said, shrugging, “And, about the… situation. Steve, it was 1945 when you landed that plane in the arctic, which I still think was a stupid idea but we’ll talk about that later,”

Steve looked a little embarrassed but Bucky continued, “You knew that I wasn’t from your time from the start, or at least early on, but I never told you how far in the future I was,” Bucky took a deep breath, “Steve, it’s 2012, you’ve been frozen for nearly seventy years,”

The room was quiet for a moment before Steve let out a sigh. 

“I should have known my life could get even weirder,” he muttered, making Bucky laugh, “I had an imaginary friend for most of my life who said he was real and then I figured out he was from the future, then I fell in love with him, then I signed up to be a science experiment, then I went to war, died, and woke up in a new century where my imaginary friend is apparently real,”

Bucky had a hard time stifling his laughter now, still holding Steve’s hand and trying not to look into his eyes because he knew that he would lose it the moment he did. 

“Dr Barnes, could you please explain how you seem to know Captain Rogers?” Fury asked, sounding more exasperated than confused. 

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, then Steve nodded a little. 

“When I was nine I started getting dreams of a little blonde punk who just had to get into fights every other day. Whenever I had the dreams, only Steve could see me, no one else, and I had them almost every night. I basically grew up with Steve. I connected the dots about the whole ‘Captain America’ thing when I was about fourteen,” Bucky expected them to dismiss his tale, to laugh at him, but Fury’s expression was one of interest rather than disbelief. 

“And you, Captain?” Coulson asked, gesturing to Steve.

Steve sucked in a deep breath, “I’ve known Bucky since I was nine, he pulled me out of a fight one day, but no one else could see him. He would appear and disappear for the rest of my life, until I crashed and-”

“Now I won’t disappear anymore,” Bucky finished, squeezing Steve’s hand. 

He finally felt complete. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to get updates and stuff you can follow me on my Tumblr: rox-fanfics
> 
> I love reading comments and getting kudos, they make my day :)


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